Celebrating Five: From Tofino Adventures to Vancouver Luxury and Dragon Cake Dreams

Help, I’ve fallen (behind) and I simply can’t seem to catch my breath! Life, it seems, has decided to hit the accelerator, leaving me scrambling in its wake. This time, I’ve slid a little further than usual, pushing the boundaries of my normal chaos. I feel like a massive, perhaps abnormally huge, Shar Pei, careening at breakneck speed across a freshly waxed linoleum floor. I’m attempting to turn a sharp corner on a dime, but instead, I’m just sliding sideways, jowls flapping wildly, legs flailing and scrambling in a futile attempt to get a grip and steer in the other direction. Yet, despite all the effort and exhaustion, I remain completely ineffective, inevitably heading for an uncontrolled collision with the wall. It’s been an absolute whirlwind – mostly fun, I must admit – but good heavens, I am utterly exhausted.

We only just arrived home from a whirlwind trip to Vancouver late last night. The moment our feet touched the ground, we made a beeline across town to celebrate my 20-year-old (!) nephew’s birthday and indulge in a slice of celebratory cake. After that brief, sweet interlude, it was back home to prepare for a pre-taped show I had scheduled for today. My alarm was then set for a ridiculously early 4:30 AM (!!) to ensure I could get up and go cover the morning traffic report for the morning show. Since leaving work this afternoon, my entire world has revolved around party planning, because tomorrow – in approximately 16 short hours – is W’s highly anticipated fifth birthday party. Downstairs, a chocolate cake stands ready, awaiting its grand transformation. We have elaborate plans (and very specific instructions from the birthday boy himself) to turn it into a magnificent dragon that breathes lava balls, using nothing more than a bounty of colorful icing and an assortment of candies. No pressure at all, right?

Indeed, W officially turned five on Wednesday, marking a significant milestone. He’s all grown-up and mature now, or so he believes. In a bold declaration of his newfound sophistication, he has decided to graduate from his childhood favorite, chocolate ice cream, to the far more refined and, apparently, adult flavor of strawberry. This is where I’ll pick up exactly where I left off writing during our Vancouver adventures. If you find yourself a bit disoriented, perhaps losing all sense of time and wondering what on earth I’m talking about, rest assured, we’ll be right on the same page. Are you ready to jump into the metaphorical DeLorean and journey back in time with me? Excellent! Let’s go!

Before I dive into the luxurious details of our ultra-fab digs at The Metropolitan Hotel in downtown Vancouver, I must preface it with a recounting of our rather epic five-hour wait at the ferry terminal yesterday. We had consciously planned to beat the long-weekend rush by waiting to leave Tofino until Tuesday – a decision that, in hindsight, earned a resounding “HA!” from the universe. As usual, we had rushed through the morning, scrambling to get everything packed, cleaned, and re-made just to get out the door in time for the ferry (did I mention “HA!” again?). Our journey started with a near-run-out-of-gas incident on the winding, shoulderless road leading to Port Alberni (where, thankfully, there’s a Tim Hortons!). We finally arrived in Nanaimo just after noon, brimming with a false sense of accomplishment.

Our optimism quickly dissipated. Not only did we miss the 12:15 PM ferry, but the 12:50 PM sailing was completely full. The crushing blow came when we discovered we didn’t make it onto the 3:10 PM ferry by a mere THREE CARS! Was it the brief stop at Tim’s? The roadside pee break in the bushes? Who knows, but the universe was clearly not on our side. This left us stranded on the scorching hot tarmac, waiting endlessly for the 4:40 PM ferry, which, predictably, was further delayed due to “extreme heavy traffic.” We had left the serene beauty of Tofino at a respectable 9:20 AM, only to finally get off the ferry well after 7:00 PM. To put that into perspective, the actual distance between Tofino and Vancouver is a mere 201 km or 125 miles. It felt like we’d circumnavigated the globe.

During our extended (and increasingly hot) wait in the car, we desperately sought amusement. My laptop, with its trusty PhotoBooth application, became our saving grace. It all started innocently enough, capturing the sweet photo you see at the very top of this article. A charming mother-son moment, if I do say so myself. Then, as the hours dragged on and our sanity began to fray, things started to deteriorate, morphing into this:

By the time we missed the third ferry, our expressions had fully evolved into a glorious testament to our dwindling patience and rising exasperation. We looked something like this, a perfect encapsulation of our “ferry purgatory” experience:

Yes, I know, these are undeniably first-world problems. I’m fully aware that many people face far more significant challenges. However, I share these anecdotes to provide a stark contrast, a crucial ballast, to the fact that the pendulum of our fortunes eventually swung dramatically in the other direction. We finally arrived at our destination and found ourselves in a truly schwanky hotel room – no, not just a room, but a magnificent suite – at The Met in the heart of downtown Vancouver. The transformation was immediate and sublime. We donned plush, thick white robes, sinking into the most divine, cloud-like king-sized bed. It’s often said that the true marker of a great hotel lies in the quality of its sheets and pillows, and I can attest, they simply don’t get any better than this. This morning, our luxurious experience continued with a breakfast fit for royalty: perfectly poached eggs Benedict served on cornbread with roasted plum tomatoes. And before that, an exquisite amuse-bouche of teeny pancakes accompanied by plum compote, and a delightful, miniature BELCH – that’s bacon, egg, lettuce, and cheese – sandwich. It was a culinary masterpiece, a complete antithesis to our ferry ordeal.

Adding to the sheer joy and absurdity of the morning, W, in a moment of pure five-year-old freedom, ate his Fruit Loops completely naked. He truly turned five today, and he was reveling in it. We had suspected for months that we’d be on the road at some point this week, and so, we thought it would be a perfect opportunity to do something truly special for his birthday. Especially since in recent months, he has taken to asking, quite out of the blue, “Can we just stay in a hotel tonight, Mom?” His requests often escalate: “One with a swimming pool? No – one with two swimming pools – one big one and one small hot one?” If he poses these questions in public, I usually respond with a theatrical flourish, telling him to finish his Perrier and we’ll discuss it further in the Jag (which, by the way, this fantastic hotel actually provides for anyone who needs a ride to their morning meeting – so, anyone need to meet for coffee in downtown Vancouver tomorrow?).

W’s profound love affair with hotels truly began last year when we stayed a night in Banff. That very same night, he made another monumental discovery: he actually isn’t terrified of swimming pools, a fear he had inexplicably harbored for quite some time. The joy and freedom he experienced in that Banff pool were unforgettable. So, when planning this trip, I thought, what better way to celebrate his fifth birthday than to extend our stay in Vancouver for a couple of nights? Our plan included taking him to the Vancouver Aquarium and, of course, booking a hotel with a magnificent swimming pool. What could possibly be a more fitting way to ring out the fifth year of his vibrant life and enthusiastically welcome the sixth? This trip, despite its rocky start, has proven to be a delightful blend of challenge and indulgence, a testament to the unpredictable, yet utterly rewarding, journey of parenting.

I can feel myself falling asleep at the keyboard once more, a clear sign that my Shar Pei-like energy reserves are completely depleted. So, for now, our Vancouver tales and birthday preparations are… to be continued…